From Darkness
Drowning. Empty. Depressed. Abandoned.
These are words Mallori Siler used to describe herself prior to summer of 2020. Growing up amidst various types of religions, Mallori felt confused and lacked any semblance of spiritual direction. These emotions continued to compound as she tried to find purpose in other things–anything that might fill the emptiness.
“I was convinced this was all life had to offer. I got married and had kids and got to be a stay-at-home mom. I had everything I wanted. But I felt completely unfulfilled.”
For many there is an emptiness that is suffocating. And trying to fill it only leads to more heaviness. A literal weight pressing in on you at all times.
That was the life Mallori described. She filled it with alcohol, shopping, surrounding herself with friends who would drown the emptiness with her. For her, the answer to the heaviness was somewhere out in the world, and nothing she was experiencing could quench the thirst she felt.
Until a phone call changed her life forever.
But before the phone call, a global pandemic started Mallori’s life on a trajectory that would change everything, beginning with her kids.
To Light
“In summer of 2020, the schools had announced they were going virtual because of COVID-19,” Mallori shared. “I knew I wanted to homeschool them instead, but I knew I needed help and I had a neighbor who had a lot of experience with homeschool.”
While trying to educate herself on how to educate her children, Mallori found herself in a Christian community of homeschool moms. The kids in the homeschool community began sharing their favorite Bible stories, but Mallori knew very little about the Bible herself.
“So I thought, ‘I guess we’ll start reading the Bible.’ All I knew about was Noah’s ark and Jonah.”
The Scripture she was reading began to churn in her heart and she began noticing that these women she had met were different.
“I thought Christians were boring and hypocritical and that they didn’t care about me. But these women were nice! And fun! And I saw that they had joy. And I didn’t have that.”
The Phone Call
Mallori knew she needed to know more about this life her new friends had. So she called Amanda Desmarais and explained that she felt God working in her life. During that phone call, Amanda shared with Mallori about Jesus and forgiveness and restoration. And she invited Mallori to finally accept Jesus as her Savior. Over the phone, Mallori prayed to receive Christ–but it wasn’t all fireworks and light at first.
“After I prayed, I thought, ‘Okay well. Hopefully that will make Amanda feel good, but I don’t feel anything different.’”
But something began to shift in her heart. Through tears, Mallori described the change she felt as the darkness lifted.
“Over the next couple of days, I would wake up and feel like it was Christmas morning! I just felt this freedom that I had been trying to find for so long.”
From there, she began to surround herself with people who encouraged her in her walk with Christ and who helped her die to her old self. God began helping her remove the things from her life that the enemy had used to pull her down.
A New Life
Free. Loved. Happy. Joyful. Excited. On fire.
These are just a few of the words Mallori uses to describe her life now.
“ Free. That is the word for me. I’m not dragged down. I feel purpose. I have broken free! I am redeemed! Now I just want this for everyone!”
Mallori shared that her life verse is Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind–”
God has transformed the way Mallori views the things of this world and where she can place her hope–a hope that will sustain her, never abandon her, never drag her down.
A hope that will never leave her empty.
For the person hearing this story who is weighed down by the darkness of this world, Mallori has a final word for you.
“What do you have to lose? There is a freedom that only Jesus Christ can give you.”
If you would like to learn more about this freedom, text the name “Jesus” to 901901.
Watch Mallori’s story here!