Family Ministry

Disconnect to reconnect with your spouse.

Why is this beneficial?

Like any tool, cell phones can be incredibly useful, but they are also an effective distractor. Phone addiction is a growing problem, with adults feeling like they must be accessible to everyone, all the times. Every minute you spend glued to your phone takes your attention away from your partner which could potentially create feelings of resentment or isolation. Taking a break from technology to intentionally focus on your spouse not only shows them that they are valued, but also encourages a deeper relationship through face-to-face communication.

Where should I start?

Dream about fun and creative things you would like to do together to strengthen your relationship. Write ideas on index cards and store in a convenient container. Periodically draw an activity card to help plan your next date. During your time together, do your best to put your phones away (unless it’s an emergency). You may need to cut something from your budget and your calendar so you can use that money and time for dating! Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Plan a progressive meal (appetizer, main dish, and dessert at different food spots around town) to restaurants you’ve never visited.
• Take turns doing what your spouse enjoys doing most.
• Take a day trip to enjoy the restaurants and activities in a nearby town.
• Go, visit, or do something in town that you two have not done together.
• Exercise with your spouse.
• Grocery shop together to prepare a pancake, taco, or potato bar for dinner.
• Play a board or card game together. The loser gives the winner a back rub and is responsible for planning the next date.
• On a clear night, find a place to stargaze talking about dreams you share for the future.
• Head to an orchard for fruit picking and use your pickings to make a yummy dessert.
• Head to Hobby Lobby to grab some paint and a couple of canvases to enjoy a painting date in the park or at home.

Things to remember about technology in marriage:

Technology can be used in a way that honors both the Lord and your spouse, it just takes a little communication. Sit down together and discuss the options below and determine which are most beneficial to you. Also, create some of your own. Commit to:

• Make date nights a tech-free zone by putting technology away during times of relational connection.
• Consider my spouse before sharing anything about him or her or our family online. Request permission to share.
• Protect our marriage by setting up accountability with each other and/or trusted friends using Covenant Eyes.
• Use technology to encourage your spouse and build your marriage (i.e. send a loving text, share a special song).
• Share all usernames and passwords and offer open access to all devices.
• Demonstrate my spouse’s relational priority over emails, texts, calls, social media, and other online activities.
• Create no phone zones at the dinner table and in the bedroom. Charge phones overnight in the bathroom or kitchen.

Disconnect from technology in order to connect with your family.

Why is unplugging important?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the average 8–10 year-old spends nearly eight hours per day on media and teens spend more than 11 hours. That’s one-third of their day or more! Let’s face it, we live in a technological world and phones are not going anywhere. However, learning to manage it well and taking time away from phones can be very helpful in creating closer connections in your home. Now, more than ever, children need strong relationships with Christian parents and mentors. Disconnecting from the world to spend intentional time as a family not only cultivates these relationships but also creates memories that last a lifetime!

What are some ways to unplug at home?

‍Grab a basket, bowl, or bike helmet to put all of your family’s phones in. Then decide as a family an activity from below:

• Play a game together. Board game, card game, hide and go seek, or treasure hunt.
• Build a cardboard castle or a pillow and blanket fort.
• Grab a ball and head outside. Basketball, football, kickball, or whiffle ball.
• Invite a friend or family over for ice cream sundaes or your favorite dessert.
• Decorate a card for an upcoming family or friend’s birthday.
• Read a book or do a Bible study.
• Act out a Bible story.
• Prepare a new recipe.
• Plant some flowers or a garden.
• Create a craft from household supplies.
• Have a tea or coffee party.
• Write and mail notes of encouragement

What are some ways to unplug away from home?

• Go on a walk.
• Fly a kite.
• Create art using sidewalk chalk.
• Ride bikes on the Greenline.
• Visit a museum or park.
• Camp in the backyard.
• Gather friends or family for sand volleyball, pickleball, or disc golf.
• Serve the homeless. (Memphis Union Mission has “Family Serve Night” every Friday)
• ‍Have an epic water balloon fight.
• Plan an outside scavenger hunt or nature walk.
• Go on a picnic.

Fun tip:

Collect ideas and store them in a jar. Randomly select an idea and make plans for your next adventure.

How can I integrate faith into these ideas?

One of the best ways to have more faith-based conversations with your kids is to integrate them into your daily life. Here are a few ways you can add a little faith to any of the activities above:

– Find a Bible verse or passage that applies to the activity and let it be your why.

• Going to serve at the homeless shelter?  Share Isaiah 58:7 or Proverbs 21:13.

– Pray without ceasing. Let your kids see you praying throughout your day and let them join in.

• Taking a drive? Pray for protection.
• See someone in need? Ask the Lord to provide for them.
• Out to lunch? Ask your waitress how you can pray for him/her.

– Have an attitude of gratitude. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 NIV

• Be in the habit of consistently thanking the Lord out loud for your kids to see.

– Let your interactions with everyone you come across reflect the love of Jesus. Yes, even when you’re driving!

How can I lead out unplugging as a parent?

• Put your phone on do not disturb and put it away when you come home each day.
• Show your family they come first by not having your phone out during relational times like dinner and during activities.
• When your kids or spouse approach you to have an interaction, put your phone down and give them your full attention.
• Practice what you preach. You are a role model to your children. The best way to get them to make good choices, is for them to see you making them first.

Choose to make the most of this special season.

Why is grandparenting special?

One of the greatest joys in life is being a grandparent. Grandparenting is an adventure that takes some by surprise, and others enter grandparenting after long seasons of anticipation. Being a grandparent is a journey of JOY!

What do I have to offer as a grandparent?

Grandparents can have an amazing influence on their grandchildren. It is not enough to just be a grandparent—we must choose to be an intentional Christian grandparent.

Grandparents are second only to parents in their potential to influence children spiritually.

As grandparents, we should be like Jesus and aim reach the hearts of our grandchildren.

How can I be more intentional in my grandparenting?

1. Like Jesus, we must be purposeful.

a. A purposeful grandparent impacts their grandchildren through vision and direction.

2. Like Jesus, we must be passionate.

a. A passionate grandparent impacts their grandchildren through profound and transparent passion driven by deeply felt emotions. Emotion is a highway to the heart.

3. Like Jesus, we must excel in personal relationships.

a. A grandparent can deeply touch their grandchildren through personal relationships with them.

4. Like Jesus, we must impact the heart through perspective.

a. A grandparent can impact their grandchildren by imparting perspective through interactive conversations and sharing ideas—thereby molding the thinking processes of grandchildren.

What are some things I can do with my grandkids?

1. Creation Station | Bellevue Baptist Church | East Lobby | (901) 347-2509

2. High Point Climbing | 21 N Humphreys Blvd. | (901) 203-6122

3. Memphis Zoo | 2000 Prentiss Pl. | (901) 333-6500

4. Memphis Redbirds Baseball | AutoZone Park | 200 Union Ave. | (901) 721-6000

5. Children’s Museum of Memphis | 2525 Central Ave. | (901) 458-2678

6. Fire Museum of Memphis | 118 Adams Ave. | (901) 636-5650

7. Picnic with your grandchildren at one of the many parks in the Memphis area.

8. Attend your grandchildren’s extracurricular events, and take them for ice cream or a meal afterward.

9. Go fishing or feed ducks at a local lake.

10. Host a “Grandparent Camp,” and let your grandchildren stay with you for a few days.

How can I weave my faith into our activities?

1. Ask your grandchildren questions, and pray for ways to bring up God’s blessings, grace, and hope in your conversations with them.

2. Celebrate good things with your grandchildren, verbally thanking the Lord for their good news.

3. Tell your grandchildren about your faith journey.

4. Pray with and for your grandchildren, ask them to pray over meals, and encourage them in their prayer lives.

5. Point to things God made, and remind them, “God made that.”

6. When you see a first responder vehicle racing to an emergency, pray out loud for everyone involved.

Isn’t faith only for the parents to pass on?

God has placed you in the life of your grandchildren. You have influence. You can choose to be an intentional Christian grandparent—enjoy the journey!

Turn your family meal into outdoor fun!

Why are picnics powerful?

Picnics combine the power of family meals with the fun of being outdoors. In her book The Surprising Power of Family Meals, Miriam Weinstein revealed that eating meals together is the magic bullet to dramatically improve your family’s health. And taking those meals outdoors to fun locations can be exciting for the whole family.

Where are great picnic spots?

Listed below are places with great views, places to play, and spots ready to be explored:

1. Mud Island or Harbor Town, alongside the Mississippi River

2. The Crystal Shrine Grotto, located in the Memorial Park Cemetery

3. Martyrs Park, located downtown and overlooking the river

4. Shelby Farms near the playground or a lake

5. International Harvester Managerial Park in Lakeland

6. Cameron Brown Park in Germantown

7. W.C. Johnson Park in Collierville

8. Blue Lagoon Park in Arlington

9. Mud Island River Park

10. Overton Park

How can we make our picnic enjoyable?

Plan to have fun! Bring balls, Frisbees, kites, bubbles, fishing poles, or a board game with you.

Go when the weather is great! Look ahead to pick the time of day and day of the week that will provide the best weather for your time outdoors.

Score with your children by bringing the right food! Bring homemade or purchased food, snacks, drinks, and dessert that everyone in the family enjoys.

Pack the right clothes! Take what you’ll need for your picnic, which could involve swimming, wading, hiking, or cooler temperatures after sunset.

Set the scene with the right music! Bring your phone (and a Bluetooth speaker if you have one) to play music that fills the air with worship, gets the kids dancing, or sets the mood.

Make a big deal about God’s creation! While outdoors, take turns pointing out all that God made, and don’t forget to point to each other.

What should we not forget?

Don’t forget a blanket, camping chairs, paper towels, a trash bag, and bug spray.

Love your child the way he or she wants to be loved

Why is this important?

Every child desires the love of their father. While children are still developing, it is helpful to continue learning about how the Lord has specifically made them. By asking some good questions and spending time with your child, you can discover how to make your children feel genuinely loved.

How is each child unique?

Children from the same parents growing up in the same home can be very different. They are even different in how they want to give and receive love.

Author Gary Chapman suggests that you learn child’s love language.

What are the 5 love languages?

1. Acts of Service – Your child loves it when others do nice things for them and when they can help others.
2. Physical Touch – Your child loves to give and receive hugs, play fight, fist-bump, kiss, and high-five.
3. Words of Affirmation – Your child loves when others use words to tell them that they are special, and they are doing a good job. They love to encourage others also.
4. Quality Time – Your child loves it when others do things with them like play a game, watch television, or go to a ballgame.
5. Receiving Gifts – Your child loves giving and receiving gifts. They feel good when someone gives them a special present or surprise and when they give.

Where can I find the free Love Language quiz?

Simply visit 5lovelanguages.com to take the “Family” quiz.

What happens after we take the quiz?

Have fun going over the answers! Take each kid somewhere special; donut shop, out for ice cream, or on a walk to discuss their love language. Using their love language as the guide and ask questions about how you can best help them feel loved. Try to agree on one “next step” that you as the dad can take to best show love. 

Will my kid receive love in the same way I want to receive love?

Maybe, but not always. It is important to avoid assuming that your child will have the same love language as you. If it is difficult to connect with your children, it may be a good idea to see if there may be a more effective way of demonstrating your love for them. Even if you might already have a good idea of what their love language may be, going over the questions on the quiz or asking them questions like “How do I love you well?” shows your children that you are interested in them and how you are willing to sacrifice to love them in a better way. This can cause your relationship to grow closer.

Why is showing love so vital?

A child who is loved by their earthly father can better accept the love of the heavenly father. Then that child can more effectively obey the command to “love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.” Mark 12:30

Things to Remember:

While your child grows, their primary love languages may change. This is why it is important to continue the conversation. It is also good to find out how your different children may have different love languages and try to structure your one-on-one time in a way that favors their specific love language.

Encourage your child to step out of their comfort zone

What’s so comfortable about comfort zones?

Each child has unique things that might make them afraid, insecure, or uncertain. Scary may be playing on a team, or being in a play, or praying in front of others. So, it’s more comfortable to avoid these opportunities than to try things where they think they may fail.

Does God want us raising comfortable or courageous kids?

The Bible speaks much more about courage than comfort. In 1 Chronicles 28:20a, David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and courageous, and act; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God, my God, is with you.”  The command to be strong and courageous appears multiple times in the Old and New Testament.

What role does a father play?

Joshua 1:9 NIV says “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” The role of a father in helping their child out of a comfort zone is to remind them that, just like the Heavenly Father, you are with them all along the way.

What activities could help my child go from comfort to courage?

Get them outdoors:

• Build a campfire. Let your children try it out once you’ve show them how it is done.
• Go Geocaching. Download a free Geocaching app and have an outdoor adventure with your children.
• Take them out for a night activity. A common fear for children is the dark. Show them there is nothing to fear when they are with their dad.
• Let them help you with yard work. Challenge your children to do something that might look like an “adult” job.

Grow their public speaking:

• Have them order the meal at a restaurant.
• Have them lead a family devotion.
• Let them have a turn praying at family meals.
• Let them navigate from point A to B in a busy airport or a park.
• Appoint them to greet guests who come to your home.

Give them a Mission:

• Give them a list of things to find at the store and let them take the lead.
• Take them along when helping a neighbor.
• Invite them to help you solve a problem or fix something at home.
• Cook a meal together for Mom and the family.

What are some things to keep in mind?

When children try something new, they usually do not produce perfect results. Remind them that what they are doing is not about results. It is an opportunity for them to grow in courage and for you to demonstrate your support of your children. You get to look your kid in the eye and say, “I believe in you, you’ve got what it takes!” As their father, your encouraging words build long-term confidence in themselves and trust in you. 

What about when they are fearful?

They do not need to fear. The most common command in the Bible is “fear not”. As you are raising up future leaders, impress upon their hearts, “They do not have a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV Being present during their failures and victories shows them a picture of the Lords steadfast love for His children, a love-based on relationship, not performance. 

How hard should fathers push?

As the leader of the family, fathers need to help their children learn what they are capable of. When a child receives low expectations, it can become a limit to what they can achieve. On the other hand, too high of expectations can discourage children. As a father, you get to challenge your kid to reach their highest potential! Through these new experiences, children can better understand their strengths and weaknesses while also growing in trust with their father as he shows his continual love for them despite the outcomes.