Prayer

Anonymous

Completely overcome by obsessive thinking. I keep getting in and out of a very sinful relationship. I have other stresses in my life, such as money issues and extreme loneliness. Even though I eat decently my type two diabetes is not doing well because the extreme stress raises my blood sugar. I live alone now. When she is in my life, though the dopa means bikes are extreme and they make me feel like a new person. It is no different than a drug addiction. We broke up for several months and then we came back to each other Thursday and for the next three days, I felt like a new man until I realize that she doesn’t want something real with me yet and now I am a basket case and I literally cannot focus to do my job at work. It is debilitating and I should be taking medical leave of absence until I can fix my problems That being said I guess that means I really need to check into a mental facility if that’s the case, but I’m too afraid and I don’t wanna do it alone and I can’t afford it. I’ve tried your biblical counseling, but they speak a different language than where I currently am. I am a Christian and a believer, but they come to me with a perspective of someone who loves God in Jesus so dearly and puts him first in their life. I don’t do that right now. They want me to do that, but I can’t just flip a switch and start feeling love for Jesus. I know he died for our sins. I know the only way to heaven is to accept his free gift which I did. When I go to biblical counseling, I have been asking for practical help or biblical help or prayer to get me over the problems that I’m facing whether I’m to blame for it or not. I just won’t help. I went out of the pain. If God would take me right now at least I would be out of pain, but I’m too afraid and maybe too smart to in my own life and that makes life continue on more difficult. I could just focus on my job and do it right now and take my mind off of all the problems, things will be a little better, but I can’t even focus on doing my job. I’ve tried everything counselors have told me such as breathing exercises and mindfulness and trying to distract and yes, prayer. I have been asking ChatGPT about my relationship and it’s the only thing that has given me useful information so no offense to you Christians reading this, but why does not God do the same thing to me? If a computer gives me more help than God, can you not see why I’m mad at him right now? I’m tired of crying out and I’m tired of praying for years upon end. Somebody reading this prayer and seeing those words that I used may be so traumatized that they don’t even wanna pray for me. I say get over yourself. I’m a Christian that’s straight away from God and I’m begging him to help me to come back to him and he’s not helping me do it and as much as I want to try to get away from all this it hasn’t freaking worked. If prayer is helping then if you see this and pray, I wish I just knew who you were so that I can tell you if it works or not because prayer has not been working for me. I hope you understand my frustration. Maybe God is punishing me, but this is too much.

Received: August 14, 2025